A pessimist at heart?

This year so far has been a dream come true. I retired as a vet  tech to stay home with my son and because of that I can devote more time to my dream of being an author. I was able to do this because my husband also had his dream come true and today is his first day at his new fire station. Its really an exciting time for both of us and I am so grateful because I prayed so hard for all these things to happen and my prayers were answered. The past few years have been a struggle for us. Most months things are so tight we run out of money before payday and credit cards have been maxed out just to keep food on the table and gas in the car.

The changes that are coming will put an end to the worry and stress but part of me is scared that for every good thing that happens something bad will too. Hopefully I am wrong and just a worry wart, hopefully we are coming out of our desert period and have found an oasis. I'm tired of the financial uncertainty and have already started make big changes to our money habits starting with overhauling our credit card debt. Its just one step in many to come. Maybe its because we have a child now or maybe its because my husband and I are getting older but I think about the future a lot and the kind of life I want for myself and my son.

Both my parents worked hard for every penny but our family was still middle to low income, especially after my parents divorced. I saw my mother struggle a lot with money and yet still provide us with things like new school cloths, and dresses for homecoming and prom. Now as an adult and knowing how much things like the luxury of new cloths cost I feel guilty. I wish I could help her out and someday I will be able to. I don't want my son to have to want for anything or see us struggle. I want him to feel safe and secure in his life. I want to give him more experiences and more of my time than my parents were able to give me because they had to work to keep me fed and a roof over my head.

I think I need to retrain my brain and just embrace all the positive changes that are happening. Today is the beginning of a new adventure and I am going to make the best of it. Day one has officially started and so far we (my little bear and I) have started a garden and done some weeding. Well, that's what i did, little bear brought his toys outside and tried to find interesting places to hide my phone. Its been so long since I've played in the sun so it was a good start to the day.

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What firefighters do.


What we imagine they do :) he he he