Slushy Erotica?

I've officially found slush. The dreaded million deep pile that affiliates of trade publishing like to talk about when smearing self publishing. They are not wrong, its there, but it certainly is not the epitome of self publishing. Erotica isn't even a genre I like to read, but I was taken in by a picture of Chris Hemsworth. So there I was, cringing my way through a horribly cliched, tacky, erotica novella. I felt bad for the author. Here she is publishing her first book and yet she is only at the beginning of learning all there is to know about self publishing and unfortunately that revelation is only going to come at the hand of one star scathing reviews. I didn't review it and I'm not sure that I will. I could say a lot of things to help her but there is no way to take away the bitter sting of a one star review and that's what I feel guilty about. I know the pain all to well.

So what was my problem? Am I a prude? Nope, not even close. The overall steaminess of the sex was surprisingly not that different from my novels, but here are the key differences:

Romantic elements: I have to build attraction and emotional connection before intimacy can be established. There is some leeway in certain situations but there must always be a HEA and a monogamous commitment. In this book there was only attraction at first, which I expected from an erotica novella.

Explicit word usage: This is one of the elements that really put me off but this could be just my opinion. Pussy. I will call my husband a pussy, for example, if he ran from a bee or refused to kill a spider. (To me) this word is supremely unsexy and a mood killer. Altogether I would say that the description of the sex was like hearing a really bad porno narrated. There was nothing creative or inviting about it.

So many exclamation points!!!!!!!: Everything is sooooo exciting! Not. It was really over used unnecessarily which made reading it obnoxious.

Holy cliche batman!: I get that you want to convey that your heroine doesn't have very good self esteem but come on. Subtly is your friend. Show don't tell and I don't need to be reminded of it every other sentence. Its been done over and over again, so its important that your heroine be unique. I was disappointed in the Hero too. He was too nice. The author set the foundation for a sexy, rough looking biker, and then suddenly he's this mind reading protective nice guy who--surprise--turns out to be rich. No thanks. I skipped to the epilogue and there was an HEA.

Is this the standard for the Erotica craze? I hope not. I was confused about what I was reading. Not that I mind the "girl gets the guy scenario" but I was expecting a sexy one night stand. I didn't expect the HEA when there was no lead in to it, there was no deeper emotion then lust established.

What is Erotica? Is it defined  by more graphic sex? I'm confused now. I think I will stick to what I know and enjoy from now on.

This was the picture that hooked me.


See what I mean?